I’ll start by making a somewhat satirical statement about
race in our current society: I hereby classify this suggested post-racial society
as “Color-blind”; that not one of us sees color, or at least we shouldn’t. WE
are all human beings. I do not see a person for their race; therefore, I see
them as a PERSON. Right…
This is accurate in that one may see another as a person. Of
course. But something else is completely inaccurate in this statement and it is
that one does not notice the race of another specific individual, or shouldn’t.
In reality, a person is not seen, rather a person of COLOR is always
acknowledged; whether you like to or not, this always happens.
The truth is that race is a vivid and explicit theme, you
will see race because you cannot avoid it, again whether you like to or not.
After race is registered into the mental faculties it is then processed and
channeled through to realize and express specific emotions or feelings about
ones race through a filtering of the discourses or messages that society has
carefully installed into you to address other messages about a racial character.
In other words, society will tell you what to think about ones race when you
see someone who is of a non-white race—how to react to them, how to treat them,
what to say to them…etc…
To be honest with you, it’s because white is normal. It’s
okay. In fact, it’s so AWESOME that people all around the globe strive to be
white—please note the sarcasm because that’s important. Parents all over the
globe are overjoyed when their son or daughter has “advanced the race” by
breeding with a white person, because their grand-babies receive those
‘AWESOMELY’ normal but highly prized attributes: blue or green eyes, blonde
STRAIGHT—hair if you’re lucky—and that awesome white, but not pale skin. If
not, well then you’re the Black sheep…literally.
You may think otherwise. It’s okay. For you, especially if you’re
white, you’re thinking I—me the author—am dwelling on the past. I’m picking a
fight or advancing a reverse racist cause with no real purpose, just to receive
reaction and looking for an argument that has no merit because us ‘colored folk’
receive all the benefits of today anyway. Sometimes I wish you were right, but
none of this is even close to true.
Firstly, the fact that you’re upset and want, no…NEED, to
challenge this only indicates what I state, white is normalized and you can’t
help but claim that such is not true because I’m being RACIST, and because
there is no such thing as race…dang it, we are all humans and why don’t I just
look at the world that way!
I can admit to carrying racist prejudices, that’s because we
all do. I’m not being racist to you—if you’re white—because this one individual
act does not account for a system-wide approach that pins an entire people down
that are not white. This is called racism. There’s a bigger picture involved. You
also probably think that race does not, should not exist, or be a factor in
this conversation…but the fact that you’re upset implies the contrary.
You can’t help but challenge what I’m telling you, that
whiteness is normalized, because all of a sudden you’re not normal anymore!
You’re different…? (drag that out…and then pause)…
----
I’ll ask several of my white straight guy friends or white Lesbian friends,
about a woman we see passing by or hanging out at certain spot. Why have I
pointed her out? She’s attractive, and I’m inquiring about whether or not the
person I’m with agrees--mind you, most of these people believe that we have superseded race in America or feel that they are not racist at all.
What does this have to
do with anything I’m writing about? Everything…
So I inquire, and oftentimes to my personal shock—but mostly
not really—they’ll totally disagree or act disgusted and say: “I’m not about
Asian girls…Black girls…Hispanic girls...Poly girls…”
Really…?
Hold up. Do you see what just happened? Rewind.
There is no such thing as race right? And if there’s no such
thing as race, we don’t necessarily judge because of race or we shouldn’t
because that’s wrong? We don’t turn away or permit entry into our circle of love based on race? Particularly
in relationships to each other?...Right?
So why would a non-white girl not be your “thing”? Why can't I
just look at a woman for her beauty and simply be attracted to her regardless
for her race? Better yet, because I believe in and acknowledge race, I notice
that there is a contextually designed beauty to every female body of every race
and I consider that in my account of what makes someone attractive. Therefore I
find many different women from many different races to be beautiful, because
they do not have to LOOK white or carry caucasian features to be considered
attractive. They’re gorgeous in their own right.
BY THE WAY...
Just to be clear, the same thing happens when you flip gender roles. The same occurs with the various interpretations of sexuality and who someone would be attracted to. It becomes complicated with gender and sexuality and really needs more discussion by itself, but I won't stress because I'm speaking to a particular experience; nevertheless, those issues do need attention as well...
My friends who say these things are not outright racists. In
fact, it’s hard to kind of find hardcore racists nowadays. There just average
people leading average lives. Good folks actually. This doesn’t change their
racism.
I have literally dated a girl from every race and ethnicity,
and each one I have found beautiful according to my appreciation of beauty
within a racialized context. I didn’t like a Black girl because she looked
white, light-skinned or portrayed white facial bone structures. I liked her
because she was Black; because there’s a lot more to Black besides the amount
of melanin contained in your dermis (layers of skin), because there is
something incredibly rich and fresh in Black skin, kinky hair or full lips. I
won’t go into detail for each racial group because it’s unnecessary. I’ll leave
your hopeful appreciation of diversity to the rest. By the way, this doesn’t
mean that white isn’t beautiful, because it very much is—that’s been
normalized—but so is everything else!
In the end, I married a beautiful Afro Latina who I would
say looks Mulatta (mix between White and Black) but carries mostly Black
African physical and cultural attributes. Yes I was attracted to her
physically, but I was also attracted to the cultural aspect of who she was. I
envied her strength as a Black woman; I saw power in the knowledge she could
pass down to our children; I loved the way she danced to our Spanish and Yoruba
songs, and most importantly, her body drove me nuts! But I love her! And of
course I love her as a human being—I didn’t marry some quadruped creature—but I
am willing to acknowledge her race as beautiful, because there is something
very humane about it. Humanity is the assorted races that exist. It is replete
with the color-tones and phenotypic features that we have all limited ourselves
to in the name of a social categorization that lacks justification in our
society and much less within our mind-frames.
Why am I writing this? Because by acknowledging and coming
to terms with race, even whiteness—as a normalized discourse (societal
message/condition)—we are stepping in the right direction. We aren’t hiding
behind the elephant in the corner. The more vulnerable we are with racialized
constructs, then the more honest we can be with each other. If you don’t think
someone is attractive based on your racialized beauty scale, that’s okay. I
don’t like it, and I think you’re limiting yourself in the most insane way, but
it’s okay, as long as you can equally accept that race is real, that color
matters, and that quite frankly, you might be racist because of your judgment.
It’s okay. Again, you’ve been pretty much molded from birth about what to think
about a specific kind of person and their racial group. Your job now, would be
to unlearn these racist tendencies and adopt alternative ways of understanding
race.
Open your eyes concerning beauty among the various racial
and ethnic groups that exist, and do not dwell on something that’s been
appropriated to be non-white and beautiful but is actually emulating White
facial or racial features to be deemed as attractive. I’m talking about an
actual racialized conception of beauty, something contextual yet applicable to
all humanity. Understanding this actually places us in the route where an
honest and authentic post-racial society can exist; where we don’t judge the
potential for relationships and love based on ill-manifested racialized
conditions.
However, I truthfully don’t believe that such a society, a
post-racial one where we all get along happily regardless of what color or race
we are/identify as, would actually be possible. Western society just isn’t
manufactured that way. It never has been, nor will it ever be. There are too
many powerful stakeholders that would do anything to make sure that such would never
happen; even if the majority of the population were to be of color, or so mixed
that you couldn’t even tell. A powerful and racist minority is still very
possible, and in some ways that’s already present today. This message, if you
even want to call it that, isn’t just for white people, it’s also for our
communities of color in the effort that they shed colonial prejudices and begin
to adopt a new lens to their own racial identities, their own beauty; because
if you cannot begin with a positive manifestation of a self-beauty then nothing
else survives unless it is what mainstream thought tells you, that white-only
is beautiful.
So look at yourself. Look at others. Look at race, and look
at races. Notice carefully. Never be deficit, especially to a group that is not
your own, and watch and learn. Understand that race is real. That it will never
go away; and at the same time, confront the fact that you might not like
someone based upon their race, and that it is racist. Accept it. Own it. Then
challenge it. Work around it. Open yourself up. Be vulnerable and let the world
share itself with you. You’ll find that there is much you didn’t know, much you
now know and much you will know. Always be safe and always appreciate, never
hate…Peace
(ii: In this piece I
use the word You or We, sometimes I, a lot. I leave it up to the reader but when I write “You” I generally am referring to a white person or someone of
color who identifies with whiteness. “We” being people of color or all of
humanity, and “I” being me, the author.)
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